Lesson 4: When life throws you some snowballs...

A half hour before I left work, a coworker emailed all of us in the Agency saying that Jenny, another teammate and good friend of mine who had left a few minutes earlier, wanted to warn us of an extremely slippery parking lot. The flurry of snowflakes I had seen caressing the windows of the West staircase at lunchtime had apparently amounted to more, or it had melted and then frozen as the otherwise clear day was blanketed by dusk.

The walkway lights outside glimmered in the sidewalk reflection. I put my weight into each step, remembering the lesson learned in my first tai chi class two weeks ago. Put your foot in front of you, and gently, slowly pour your weight from one leg to the other, like tea into a cup. No problem.

As I moved farther out, I realized that roadway in the first parking lot had been sanded. One of the dump trucks must have come by earlier spreading gravel from its tail-end sander. I then walked on the paths of dirt, laughing to myself. I don't know why Jenny left when she did, but clearly, if she had waited another 20 or 30 minutes, there would have been no need to heed us warning. I imagined myself texting her with mock ridicule, followed by a colon and lowercase p.

Before I could do so, my foot slid sideways. I was past the first parking lot, heading into the second. The muscles in the left of my back tightened in a sharp clench upward from my lower ribcage. I gained solid footing and took a breath. OK.

I noticed that this section of the lot had not been sanded. I walk slowly, more carefully this time. I was aware, then, that sometimes I walk briskly. But now, I was chugging along, taking another step, pouring another cup of tea. I looked across the crisp, dark, clear air at other people readying to leave.

I remote-started the car, wiped away the fluffy snow off the rear window, and scraped away a thin layer of ice on the windshield. A dump truck crawled by, its sander spewing gravel on the ground. As I got in the car and put the scraper in the back seat, I felt my phone vibrate in my coat pocket. I put on the windshield wipers to clear away the remnants of ice, pulled out the phone and saw a mobile message from my sister. We had talked the other day, on her birthday, about her yearning to sketch drawings like she used to do years ago. I had taken it upon myself to assign her to sketch a nose, one of the more difficult body parts for her to sketch. So I was delighted to get a snapshot of a sketch of a couple of noses. "Who KNOWS what you might come up with," I had joked to her the other day with encouragement. HAR HAR!

I then realized, in the dark of night, that it had become darker than it was a few minutes ago. I looked up and saw an obstructed view before me. I turned on the headlights. With the hedge now illuminated, I saw thick clumps of snow piling up on the windshield. I glanced out the driver's side window. I saw no ground, but snow, already a thick layer, and with the help of another car's headlights, I saw a great gust of wind bring down a billow of more snow.

"Holy shit," I said aloud. "It's a fucking blizzard!"

I had been in the car barely three or four minutes, I figured, looking at two noses, one a fairly normal yet somewhat gnarly nose, and the other a crooked one not unlike one belonging to a good friend of mine. Who KNOWS? Who knew a squall would burst through? Certainly not I, who doesn't check the weather online or have watched the local TV news — or TV at all — in the last two years.

As I backed out of my parking space, my mind darted back to two New Year's Eves ago, when my last car was totaled in an accident during a snowstorm. I hoped for the best, and crept along, arriving home just under an hour later. Safe and sound.

Some days nothing interesting happens, and some days the universe throws a snowball at you. Maybe it's just to keep things interesting, to knock the monotony off course, off-balance.

I heard later that my girlfriend had caught the last few seconds of the sunset today, harkening an orange glow over a beautiful blanket of snow, undisturbed, along the trees. I missed that scene by about an hour, but I caught a glimpse of something just as special. So, I cursed my way through it, caught by surprise. But the swears were followed by giddy amazement, a wide-eyed wonder at how impermanent life can be. One moment you're just walking along. Then you're suddenly pre-occupied by exquisitely drawn noses. Next, a freakin' snowstorm rolls through and it makes you think, "I totally did not see that coming."

Mind your head. The next curveball is coming your way.

Lesson 2: Budget in time for your budget

"I got my mind on my money, and my money on my mind," as an undoubtedly wise man once said.

2009 did not begin well for me financially. But I managed to overcome the uncertainty of the economic climate as well as the uncertainty of my own future in such a way that I can be proud of, by balancing a rigorous schedule of paying bills and a somewhat happy lifestyle.

My car has crashed! Yay!

My 2000 Pontiac Grand Am was totaled in an otherwise minor car accident on New Year's Eve 2008, so I suddenly needed a new car.

All while realizing that, in the deep end of the economic recession, I would most likely accept a full-time permanent position as a web developer, where I had been contracting as a temp. The position was an $8,000 cut in gross pay. And let's not forget I'd get paid monthly, not weekly. But the offer was there, and the company had been (and luckily has continued to be) doing great.

In my state of shock after the accident, I went car shopping with my friend Jenny, who took pictures of the adventure. I went in thinking I would buy a Honda Civic (even though for years I thought my next car would be a Toyota Prius). But we walked by a brand-new, 2009 Honda Fit. And it was a fit: The dashboard interface was the clear winner here, as the Civic interface was too black with indiscriminately distinct buttons. I bought the car, even minutes (hours?) after sitting with Jenny and (I still remember now) telling her, "I just need something that takes me from point A to point B." With a kick-ass interface, apparently. But I digress.

I had a credit card with a $6,000 line of credit. I used it for a car down payment of $5,000. I did this to lower my monthly payment for the car loan, which became just under $300. Three hundred more dollars per month that I now had to find, with a smaller salary.

However, I was banking on receiving a check from the insurance company for the worth of my Grand Am, so I threw that money at my new credit card balance, paying that off a grand per month. I wanted that bill gone ASAP, and by April, it was.

With some of that extra insurance money, I paid $500 for one car payment. I also doubled the amount I paid per month on my debt loan. I had consolidated all my credit card payments back in late 2007 into this five-year loan. By the end of 2009, less than halfway into the loan's term, the loan was paid off.

The only other debt I have is my consolidated school loan, which has the lowest interest rate and therefore I just have $100 each month deducted automatically without me thinking about it.

All this with a lowered salary and a new car loan? Thankfully, no.

I did do some additional freelance work at the beginning of the year. I had worked with them before, developing emails for a lawschool textbook publisher, so another gig with them was perfect timing. It wasn't the most exciting side job, but it literally did pay the bills for a while.

All bills and no play...

Amid all the bills, I knew I needed to balance work with play.

In late 2008, I had stopped dancing Argentine tango, which had been my primary social outlet since 2003. Frankly, I didn't know what else to do, so, on my own, I went to concerts — BB King and Buddy Guy at the new House of Blues in February; Rustic Overtones, and the Blind Boys of Alabama in March; Gomez twice in April and June; Great Lake Swimmers in April; Federico Aubele in May; Roomful of Blues in October; and Jonny Lang in November.

I also went to the Brattle Theatre, among other places, to see old movies and new documentaries, such as Examined Life and Easy Rider. I saw The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, which was part of an Arlington yoga studio's film series. I saw my first IMAX film, the new Star Trek, at Jordan's. And last month I saw, for the first time ever, It's a Wonderful Life on the big screen at the Brattle.

I went to the Grub Street Muse and the Marketplace writers workshop in April, paying a substantial (but worthwhile) price to see if the writing bug was somewhere still inside me (it is). I started dating someone I met there, and with time (and a couple of spending moratoria later), we went on vacation together. It was my first real vacation in nine years.

More to do...

I have a couple of savings accounts and a couple of checking accounts. I have a couple of credit cards that I did not want to touch after years of debt. With the residual balance of credit debt gone, I have started using my card again, soley to rack up Rewards points. (The caveat is that I make sure I pay the balance each month to avoid finance charges.) The products I could get with these points are not really interesting to me, but they could make good gifts for the family. Ideally, by the end of this year, I could probably not need to buy any Christmas gifts.

I've been thinking for a long time about CD ladders but have yet to do it. I haven't been financially secure enough to do this, but I think I might be able to this year.

I have had a traditional IRA and a Roth IRA for years, but have never contributed any money to them. This is the year to start doing it. So many people don't even have IRAs, and the earlier you get this, the better your retirement will be, as they say.

Even though December 2009 was arguably my biggest spending month last year, I was already two months into saving 30% of my take-home pay into my ING Direct savings account. My plan for this year is to let that be an untouchable account, for large purchases, for unexpected but inevitable turns-for-the-worst.

Do it!

It may go without saying, but for me more than two years ago, it needed to be said: You must have a budget. Whether it's a spreadsheet or some other way for you to keep track of where your money is now and where it's going. For years I slogged through tremendous debt. But once I was able to map out where my income was going, and when my bills were taking that money away, and then plan that out for the rest of the year... well, I could see past the dark cloud. I saw a way out of debt.

2008 crashes to a halt

I worked 2.5 hours at Staples on Dec. 31, 2008. A snowstorm came in fast, and we were all told to go home, and I left around 11:30am. The roads were bad. Mass Pike wasn't as bad as that awful 3-hour-or-more commute we all endured a year before, but conditions grew worse the closer I got toward home. I successfully navigated an unusually sparse Newton Circle, which is typically usually insanely packed with cars in a chaotic mess of cars.

I passed the two traffic lights and was on Centre Street in Newton. Ahead of me I saw a car getting ready to come out of the Brigham and Women’s center parking lot. The car’s nose was partly in my lane of traffic. From that position, I determined that I had enough room and could safely pass through as normal.


The other car was coming out of this parking lot. I was driving in the same direction as the white car, shown above.
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I could see the driver waiting for other cars to pass by; it appeared he was waiting to take a left turn, to go in my opposite direction, or go into the Bertucci’s pizzeria parking lot across the street. He was looking at other cars, away from my direction, and I assumed he would turn to look to the left to see if other cars would come. As soon as other cars cleared his way, he drove into the street. He did not look my way.

I was too close to make a sudden stop. I beeped the horn (he was this way now), and I put on the brakes. Because the roads were snowy, my car swerved as I tried to bypass the other car. The back end of my car swerved to the right. The front right-side bumper of my car hit the front left side of his car.

My car ended up perpendicular to the road, on the other side, where there are two lanes. My car was blocking those lanes. I got out of the car and saw the other car involved pull into the Bertucci’s parking lot opening. I motioned to him as if to say, "What were you thinking?" I heard another driver, who was not involved but trying to be helpful, yell out to me that it was OK for me to drive into the parking lot, so I got back in the car and did so.

I got out, and so did the other driver. A girl, whom he later identified as his daughter, remained in his passenger seat. I was about to ask if everyone was OK, but he was clearly angry and was blaming me. That surprised me, and I said, "You didn’t look!" That made him angrier, and he demanded to get my information. I said I wanted to see his, and continued to blame me, ending with "Suck my dick!" He grew more frustrated and said, "I should call the cops. Actually, I WILL call the cops." He went back inside his car. Either during the conversation, or shortly after, a woman came and became his witness. "I saw you hit him," she said to me.

I called 911 and decided to stay outside. The snow was falling hard. I was doing OK. I should have been just as angry as he was, glaring at him as he was glaring at me from inside his heated Mercedes, but I was calm and collected. I was enjoying the snowfall. I slightly smiled as I looked up into the gray sky where hundreds of big flakes were hurtling, yet floating, toward me. I thought of sticking out my tongue to taste the snow, but I decided against it. I imagined the other guy would notice and run over to rip it out. I went inside my car to warm up.

Soon firefighters arrived in a truck, and began questioning the other driver. I got out, and a man on the sidewalk holding two coffee cups asked me if I was the one driving on the road. I said yes, and he said he saw the other car obstructing the line of traffic. A firefighter asked me if I was hurt. I said no. He responded by saying the other driver said he was feeling whoozy. "Of course he did," I said. The firefighters got another call to attend to, so they left soon after.

I text messaged and then called a colleague who apparently was still at the office. Then my witness gave me his name, address and phone number. A police officer arrived shortly after 12:30pm. I didn’t get the police officer’s name, but he was older with white hair, either buzz-cut or balding. I was first to get out of the car, so the officer approached me. "Before I forget, here is my witness’s information," I told him.

"It’s OK," the officer said, looking at the road. "The other driver’s the one at fault."

Then he asked me what happened. By this time, the other driver was standing near the officer. I told the officer I was driving this way, and "he" was coming out of the parking lot. "How dare you!" the other driver said. The officer held up his hand, telling him to be quiet, that it was my turn. "Exchange information," the officer said. Neither of us had any paper, so the officer went back to his car and provided us with a motor vehicle crash exchange form. I gave the other driver my registration card and driver’s license and he gave me his. This guy's smiling photo could not be the same man broiling before me in the snow, but he really was. He was from Weston.

After the officer left, and after the other driver left, I called my insurance company from the parking lot and gave his information to them. The license plate number I was given had been swapped, my insurance rep said, which meant he could have just bought a new car and put new plates on it. "Or the car he was driving wasn’t his car," I said. The rep laughed and said that was possible, too. She put me on hold while she tried to connect with a local auto body shop. We got disconnected. I waited a few minutes for her to call me back, but I grew impatient and called again. I couldn't reach her.

After the third try, I decided to drive to the shop myself as it was only a mile away. But the bumper was hanging down and touching the front right wheel. I tried to figure out how to rig it with black rubber bungie cord or rope. I soon was fed up and tried to yank the thing off, and one young guy came along and helped me. I put the broken pieces of the bumper in the back seat, and slowly drove to the body shop in Watertown Square. Being aware of a big gaping hole in one corner of my car felt like I was driving with three wheels.

The auto body shop attendant (owner?) looked at the damage and estimated it would take about a week to do the work. I found out later that my auto insurance policy doesn't cover getting a rental car, but it's possible to get the other guy's insurance to cover it because needing to drive a rental is a result of the accident. I need to call his insurance company Friday morning to see if they'll do it.

Epilogue
I had planned to go to the ProvidenceTango New Year's Eve milonga, but didn't think it wise to drive all that way with my car in that condition. I didn't feel like bumming a ride. I felt this was the universe's way of telling me not to go anywhere. (Even in the morning, I woke with a sore throat and feared I was getting another round of tonsilitis, and if that were the case, I didn't want to infect anyone.) So I decided to stay in. On New Year's morning, my roommates (after checking their cell phones for any evidence of debauchery from the night before) and I went down the street to Uncommon Grounds for breakfast. I took a nap, and then wrote two blog posts.