Attainable goals for 2009

I don't do resolutions. Like many, I fail to remember even conjuring the audacity I had to challenge myself with lofty aims in such a trendy fashion. So this year, 2009, I am outlining goals more attainable and accessible, in an effort to actually achieve them!

1. Write every day. I'm already failing at this, if you consider that this originally meant write one blog post a day. Here it is, Jan. 10, and this is blog post #4. Not bad, considering I wrote an average of one post a month recently. See? Success already! So, whether it's writing here, writing in my offline journal, or writing a witty one-liner Facebook status message, the goal is to stretch my writing muskles.
   
   
2. Update my web portfolio. I originally wanted to do this in December. My web development portfolio is outdated and seriously lacking in design. It shares the minimalist aesthetic I have on Dankoski.com but really that was only temporary. So I'll update the portfolio content by end of January (meaning, adding the Staples CorpEx site and Craigie on Main) with screenshots and key code snippets.
   
   
3. Update the rest of Dankoski.com. I have had this domain for years, and it's time I do something with it. 2008 was a good year to start that with this blog, and with my web portfolio, but 2009 will be the year to beef it up with actual content. I hope to partner up again with the Craigie website designer on this. I'd like to keep the minimalist aesthetic, but I have some ideas to tie in my varied interests (web, writing, tango, photography, etc.). I'm hoping for a design mockup by end of February or March and an unveiling by late spring.
   
   
4. Travel more. I had a great time traveling to Texas over Thanksgiving. It was my first real "vacation" in eight years. I ended it with the want for more. It's good to get away, isn't it? I don't know yet where I'd like to go, or when I'd be able to. Before, it never occurred to me to get away, but this year, it's actually on my mind.
   
   
5. Live healthier. There are times when I eat some really nasty food. (See Exhibit A and Exhibit B.) But I know that green stuff and nonanimal products can sometimes (but not always) be tasty, and even healthy. I'm not turning vegetarian, but I'm open to eating healthier foods. The other day I learned I am technically overweight, with a body-mass index of 25.09, according to the the BMI calculator on Boston.com. That's based on my average weight of 185 pounds and my approximate height of 6 feet. Borderline with a normal BMI. But I know it's more difficult to maintain weight as one grows older. I'm also looking into yoga and will appreciate any suggestions and support. This healthy-living goal will be ongoing throughout the year.
   
   
6. Unplug. I'm on the computer all day. I need to unplug. Think I can do it? We'll see.
   
   
7. Go out more. I used to dance tango a lot. I'd go out a couple of or three times a week with my body dancing with some hot and not-so hot women. The scene is filled with people who are addicted to that sort of connection, and I've grown bored with it. I haven't danced tango yet in 2009, but I assume I will be back at it sooner or later. But it will no longer be my main social outlet, as it has been for the last five-plus years. This ongoing goal is to find other avenues. I'm a textbook introvert, so this will be a challenge.
   
   
8. Find a GGG woman. Today I'm not planning to seek out a woman who's right for me. Today I am happy with giving and keeping time for myself. But I know that aside from being content with myself, I would love to have a good, giving and game woman by my side. I deserve one. Someone who is sweet and cute and appreciates me for me. And, for the love of God, someone who is fun in bed ... or wherever else she wants to do it.
   
   
9. Keep blog posts short. My friend Jenny challenged me to do this. I know I tend to be wordy. But as Mark Twain supposedly noted, it takes more time to write short than it does to write long. I can write and write and write. Now I gotta edit them down? Argh.
   
   
10. Take more risks. I was going to leave this list at 9 items, but I couldn't help myself. I had to round it out. OK, taking risks, everything else and keeping blog posts short, starting now.
    

P.S. Oh, and if you haven't yet, please subscribe to this blog via e-mail at dankoski.com/blog or to its new Feedburner RSS feed.

Recipe: Spiral Ham Thankfully Leftover Surprise

It's time for the first-ever second installment of the Dank Thoughts Random Recipe. Tonight's recipe comes to us with the need to get rid of holiday leftovers in a purely ingenious way that only an impressed lifelong bachelor would nod in approval. Today's recipe is the Spiral Ham Thankfully Leftover Surprise.

Spiral Ham Thankfully Leftover Surprise

Ingredients:

• 1-2 lbs. of spiral ham left over from Christmas Eve dinner
• 1 small can Campbell's Healthy Request pork and beans
• homemade salsa that you still have left over from Thanksgiving
• Sweet Baby Ray's honey barbecue sauce
• 2-3 slices of Pepperidge Farm cinnamon bread
  

Recipe:

1. Cut pieces off of the chunks of spiral ham and place them onto a hot pan. They should look like thick pieces of bacon. (It's up to you if you want to use butter or another type of substance to grease the pan. I didn't use anything because I knew the little bit of fat from the ham would be enough for me.)
2. Flip over the pieces to lightly char the other side.
3. When pieces are cooked to your desire, pour the pork and beans on and around the ham. Cook to desired consistency. I like it bordering on pasty.
   
4. Squeeze in some of that Baby Ray's.
   
5. While the pork and beans are cooking, mix in as much salsa as you wish. (Salsa is an obvious ingredient because the tomato in it mixes well with the tomato-based sauce of the beans. And if I'm wrong in the assumption that the bean's sauce is made from tomatoes, then the fact that beans and salsa are a well-proven and delightful mixture -- and as such a gift that keeps on giving -- should be reason enough to pile as many dollops as you can.)
6. Squeeze in some more of the Sweet Baby Ray's, but this time create a zig-zag, smiley-face or other design on top of the meat. Do not mix in it; you want the design to seep into the mixture in the exact spot it landed.
7. Once the barbecue sauce is sufficiently permeated, it is safe to turn off the stove.
8. Toast the cinnamon bread, and spread on a dairy-free gluten-free butter alternative. Perhaps even peanut butter!

Variations:

1. Ketchup is an acceptable substitute for barbecue sauce. Catsup is not.
2. There is no variation to the second pass of the barbecue sauce. It is vital that you make a creative design, or else your version of this recipe will become a disaster.
3. Post a comment with your variation suggestions here.
   

Suggestions:

1. More recipe ideas from the Campbell kitchen
2. More recipe ideas from Sweet Baby Ray's
3. More recipe ideas from Pepperidge Farm

Warning!

• Consumption of this meal may will cause an onslaught of an unsightly rash on your hands that tingles to the touch. Proceed at your own risk.
  

Shedding my skin in 2008

Ah, 2008, such curveballs you threw my way! Let's see how well I did, how I've changed, and what I've accomplished as a result.

Waking up
I had a really great summer, a time of transition. Coming out of an on-again off-again yearlong relationship, I needed to clear my head. I chose to learn how to meditate. Without a doubt, this was the most important development of the year, if not ever. I learned not just to dismiss the negative thoughts that drove my life, but I learned to realize that they are just thoughts, just stories I was ruminating in my head; they are not who I AM. Ridding myself of this, I felt on top of the world, just by setting aside time for myself, doing simple things like walking around Fresh Pond in Cambridge in the summer -- or going to Brattle Theatre in December to watch all four of the Indiana Jones movies, Serenity and even episodes of Doctor Who on the big screen. July and August were by far the best months of 2008.

Paying down
In September, I worked on two freelance web development gigs in order to rid myself of credit card debt, which had been a dark cloud over my head for so long. Finally, my credit card balances have been paid off. Phew! There was a time when I had to pay rent with credit cards. Those days are no more. Not only did I pay off the debt, I'm pretty sure I also did not use my credit cards at all last year. It helped that I started in late 2007 to use an actual spreadsheet to budget my income and expenses, which helped me see in real and projected numbers that the debt was not insurmountable if I just stuck with it. I also gleaned random tidbits from advice from blogs such as Get Rich Slowly, where I learned to pay off the largest debt first, by being disciplined. In 2009, I hope to rid myself of my consolidated student loan and another loan. Getting more freelance gigs will make that easier to do.

Getting away
Prior to 2008, the last time I had a real vacation was in 2000, when a friend an I traveled to and around the United Kingdom for spring break in college. So after eight years of working as a reporter and then as a web developer, I needed time to get away from it all. I did this a couple of times this year, first over the Fourth of July weekend. I went to Rockland, Maine, where I walked the breakwater and got a sunburn, even on my feet, where the lines of my Birkenstocks still show faintly today. I did some writing in my journal, too. (To be honest, when I look back at 2008, my memory of it begins here.)

The more significant trip came over Thanksgiving, when I flew to Texas to see my sister, who invited me at the end of August to visit her and her husband in Dallas. I hadn't seen her in a year or two, and I actually hadn't met Tony until then. So that was good. From there I flew south to Austin. I had no plans other than to check out the city and possibly go to the Fandango de Tango festival. I did dance Friday night, and Saturday I walked all over the city for hours, ending the day with a blues concert at Antone's, where I was introduced to the incredible Caroline Wonderland.

Freelancing more
I already mentioned that September was pretty busy with work. Apart from my day job as a contracted web developer at the in-house agency at Staples, I again was contracted by Aspen Publishers in Waltham to develop and produce e-mail newsletters for new and upcoming textbooks for law school students. That job ended just after Columbus Day, but by then I was already working with Pixelberg to develop the new website it designed for Craigie on Main, formerly called Craigie Street Bistrot before they moved to Main Street in Cambridge. I learned A LOT on that project and am very proud of my work on it. I hear there is some follow-up work to be done soon, too.

Expressing myself
2008 was the year I started writing again. I stopped saying "someday I'll write a blog" and actually started one. I hesitated for a long time because I wanted it to have a purpose, and I didn't really have one. So I started this blog on June 22, 2008, with two posts: one introducing myself and an example of a piece of writing I wrote earlier that month in a Grub Street weekday seminar on writing sex scenes, the day I met Jeanne Greeley, who writes the Stuff at Night relationship/sex columns that I've enjoyed reading for a long time. The story of the vegan restaurant was an example of describing food with all five senses. Then we wrote three versions of the same sex scene. I left the class impressed with everyone else's writing and realized that mine was much like reporting -- and hence, much more pornographic, in a way, than the sensual approach we were, uh, shooting for. I took two more Grub classes, one in mid-August on writing a personal essay, and one in mid-December on writing from real life.

So what sparked this renewed interest in writing? My mom was searching for stuff about me on the web in late April and found the last column I wrote for the Maine Campus college newspaper and said, yes, she was proud of me. I sent the link to my girlfriend at the time, who said, "Why aren't you writing?"

Smartening up
I always feel like I'm learning new things every day. There was a time when I distressed over this fact. "I should have figured it all out by now!" But in 2008 I embraced learning, including especially meditation. But earlier in the year I took classes at the Cambridge Center for Adult Education, just for the hell of it. The center sent out a winter catalog in late 2007, and I saw classes for things I always wanted to learn. I took a one-day class on entrepreneurship, a beginner's six-week course on Polish, and another one on pottery. (I have some photos of my pottery that I hope to show off on my site soon.) This past Christmas, I gave some of my wares to my sisters.

Letting go
When I moved to Massachusetts in September 2007, my goal was to forge a mighty career in web development. However, my time here over the last year has become more a job in personal development. I had a lot of assumptions about how my life was going, and it didn't end up the way I expected it would. Each time I took a step, my feet landed in a different spot than I aimed for. It took me a long time to figure out that holding on to what I assumed were foregone conclusions hampered me from moving forward. I continue to struggle with it, but I'm getting better at understanding the concept of impermanence: Nothing lasts forever. I'm trying to get used to it.

Happy new year!

2008 crashes to a halt

I worked 2.5 hours at Staples on Dec. 31, 2008. A snowstorm came in fast, and we were all told to go home, and I left around 11:30am. The roads were bad. Mass Pike wasn't as bad as that awful 3-hour-or-more commute we all endured a year before, but conditions grew worse the closer I got toward home. I successfully navigated an unusually sparse Newton Circle, which is typically usually insanely packed with cars in a chaotic mess of cars.

I passed the two traffic lights and was on Centre Street in Newton. Ahead of me I saw a car getting ready to come out of the Brigham and Women’s center parking lot. The car’s nose was partly in my lane of traffic. From that position, I determined that I had enough room and could safely pass through as normal.


The other car was coming out of this parking lot. I was driving in the same direction as the white car, shown above.
View Larger Map

I could see the driver waiting for other cars to pass by; it appeared he was waiting to take a left turn, to go in my opposite direction, or go into the Bertucci’s pizzeria parking lot across the street. He was looking at other cars, away from my direction, and I assumed he would turn to look to the left to see if other cars would come. As soon as other cars cleared his way, he drove into the street. He did not look my way.

I was too close to make a sudden stop. I beeped the horn (he was this way now), and I put on the brakes. Because the roads were snowy, my car swerved as I tried to bypass the other car. The back end of my car swerved to the right. The front right-side bumper of my car hit the front left side of his car.

My car ended up perpendicular to the road, on the other side, where there are two lanes. My car was blocking those lanes. I got out of the car and saw the other car involved pull into the Bertucci’s parking lot opening. I motioned to him as if to say, "What were you thinking?" I heard another driver, who was not involved but trying to be helpful, yell out to me that it was OK for me to drive into the parking lot, so I got back in the car and did so.

I got out, and so did the other driver. A girl, whom he later identified as his daughter, remained in his passenger seat. I was about to ask if everyone was OK, but he was clearly angry and was blaming me. That surprised me, and I said, "You didn’t look!" That made him angrier, and he demanded to get my information. I said I wanted to see his, and continued to blame me, ending with "Suck my dick!" He grew more frustrated and said, "I should call the cops. Actually, I WILL call the cops." He went back inside his car. Either during the conversation, or shortly after, a woman came and became his witness. "I saw you hit him," she said to me.

I called 911 and decided to stay outside. The snow was falling hard. I was doing OK. I should have been just as angry as he was, glaring at him as he was glaring at me from inside his heated Mercedes, but I was calm and collected. I was enjoying the snowfall. I slightly smiled as I looked up into the gray sky where hundreds of big flakes were hurtling, yet floating, toward me. I thought of sticking out my tongue to taste the snow, but I decided against it. I imagined the other guy would notice and run over to rip it out. I went inside my car to warm up.

Soon firefighters arrived in a truck, and began questioning the other driver. I got out, and a man on the sidewalk holding two coffee cups asked me if I was the one driving on the road. I said yes, and he said he saw the other car obstructing the line of traffic. A firefighter asked me if I was hurt. I said no. He responded by saying the other driver said he was feeling whoozy. "Of course he did," I said. The firefighters got another call to attend to, so they left soon after.

I text messaged and then called a colleague who apparently was still at the office. Then my witness gave me his name, address and phone number. A police officer arrived shortly after 12:30pm. I didn’t get the police officer’s name, but he was older with white hair, either buzz-cut or balding. I was first to get out of the car, so the officer approached me. "Before I forget, here is my witness’s information," I told him.

"It’s OK," the officer said, looking at the road. "The other driver’s the one at fault."

Then he asked me what happened. By this time, the other driver was standing near the officer. I told the officer I was driving this way, and "he" was coming out of the parking lot. "How dare you!" the other driver said. The officer held up his hand, telling him to be quiet, that it was my turn. "Exchange information," the officer said. Neither of us had any paper, so the officer went back to his car and provided us with a motor vehicle crash exchange form. I gave the other driver my registration card and driver’s license and he gave me his. This guy's smiling photo could not be the same man broiling before me in the snow, but he really was. He was from Weston.

After the officer left, and after the other driver left, I called my insurance company from the parking lot and gave his information to them. The license plate number I was given had been swapped, my insurance rep said, which meant he could have just bought a new car and put new plates on it. "Or the car he was driving wasn’t his car," I said. The rep laughed and said that was possible, too. She put me on hold while she tried to connect with a local auto body shop. We got disconnected. I waited a few minutes for her to call me back, but I grew impatient and called again. I couldn't reach her.

After the third try, I decided to drive to the shop myself as it was only a mile away. But the bumper was hanging down and touching the front right wheel. I tried to figure out how to rig it with black rubber bungie cord or rope. I soon was fed up and tried to yank the thing off, and one young guy came along and helped me. I put the broken pieces of the bumper in the back seat, and slowly drove to the body shop in Watertown Square. Being aware of a big gaping hole in one corner of my car felt like I was driving with three wheels.

The auto body shop attendant (owner?) looked at the damage and estimated it would take about a week to do the work. I found out later that my auto insurance policy doesn't cover getting a rental car, but it's possible to get the other guy's insurance to cover it because needing to drive a rental is a result of the accident. I need to call his insurance company Friday morning to see if they'll do it.

Epilogue
I had planned to go to the ProvidenceTango New Year's Eve milonga, but didn't think it wise to drive all that way with my car in that condition. I didn't feel like bumming a ride. I felt this was the universe's way of telling me not to go anywhere. (Even in the morning, I woke with a sore throat and feared I was getting another round of tonsilitis, and if that were the case, I didn't want to infect anyone.) So I decided to stay in. On New Year's morning, my roommates (after checking their cell phones for any evidence of debauchery from the night before) and I went down the street to Uncommon Grounds for breakfast. I took a nap, and then wrote two blog posts.